Musical Misconceptions
by ReturnToJohto
Summary: Alistair is an albino pokemon trainer/musician struggling to become a star. He and his pokemon are collectively known as 'Zeus on the Guitar Strings'... It's a shame that no one actually wants to hear them play. OCxOC later on I guess. R&R Niggas...
1. My Balls are Spherical

"Okay… okay… I can do this. I know I can," Alistair said to himself in the mirror. Right now he was in the bathroom at the back of the Hearthome City Mall. He and his pokemon were going to play their first performance here. He stared at the mirror longer, making sure that he all ready for this. He was born as an albino so he had very pale skin, pure white hair that went down to his shoulders and crimson red eyes. "I can totally do this! I rock so friggin hard!"

"No you don't," the man who was washing his hands next to him said.

"Fuck you man! You haven't even heard me and my pokemon play yet!" The man scanned Alistair from head to toe.

"Yeah… I can tell just by looking at you you're gonna suck. And your fly is open," he added.

"God damn it…" Alistair said before zipping it back up. He always forgets to zip it. "Screw you! I'm gonna be the greatest musician/ trainer uh… thing ever! Just you wait!" He said before storming out of the bathroom and made his way to the center of the building where a stage was erected just for him and his pokemon. He climbed on top of it and looked out over the crowd. There had to be at least 3 dozen people. Okay… not a bad start for the world's future God of Rock…

"How are you doing people? My name is Alistair and I shall be the one making your ear pussies have an orgasm from sheer pleasure today! CAN YOU DIG IT?!" He shouted. No one made a sound. Alistair looked over them again. Some in the first few rows must have never seen an albino before because they kept giving him reproachful looks. Some small children even started crying…

"Ahem…" Alistair coughed. This wasn't turning out as well as he thought. "Let me introduce you to my band. With them, we are collectively known as Zeus on the Guitar Strings AKA Mr. Bitches and Friends AKA Numero Awesome AKA Dial S for Sexual Implosion. But just call us Zeus on the Guitar Strings. First is my backup singer, Fiona the Chatot!"

He tossed the pokeball high above his head. It opened up in midair and his Chatot came out in a burst of white light. Fiona had a white ribbon on her forehead so Alistair could tell her apart from other Chatots. She circled the entire room once before landing back on to Alistair's head. The appearance of a pokemon seemed to lighten up the crowd's mood. The little kids in the audience all clapped for Fiona and the older folk were smiling. Things were turning around.

"Next is a very good friend of mine. Please welcome both my guitarist _and_ my drummer, Virtuoso the Ambipom!" He tossed the pokeball to the ground this time. When Virtuoso came out it did a handstand on one of its tails while waving at the audience with the other. This time the audience cheered for them. Alistair couldn't believe it. Actual applause!

"Great! Now lets get started with the first song, 'Why am I so Lyrical'. I hope you like it!" Virtuoso picked up the guitar laid out for it with its tails and Alistair gave it two drum sticks to hold in its hands. It then went over to the drum set behind Alistair. Fiona moved to Alistair's shoulder. When Virtuoso began drumming and playing the guitar simultaneously, Alistair began singing.

(The beat starts off slow)

…When I look into your eyes

All I see is awe

Your mouth is wide open

Spit drips from your maw

All of you look upon me

You all stop and stare

My crimson eyes don't stop you

Neither my snow white hair

So why…?

Why do you stare at me?

I know why…

IT'S BECAUSE OF MY LYRICALOSITY! (Fiona: Lyricalosity!)

If you ever ask me why I'm so lyrical

I'll always respond saying

Because my balls are spherical!

(Fiona: SPHERICAL!)

(The beat gets much louder and fast paced)

My balls are so supple and perfectly round

You could search the whole world over

There is not a pair to be found

LIKE MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!

(Fiona: LIKE MINE!)

If you ever ask me why I'm so lyrical

I'll always respond saying

Because my balls are spherical!

(Fiona: SPHERICAL!)

I was born to rock

From the day I was born

All of you suck my cock

Can't find a pair like mine

On internet porn

(Fiona: Porn!)

Porn!

(Porn)

Porn!

(Porn)

Porn!

(Together): POOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRNNNNN!

If you ever ask me why I'm so lyrical

I'll always respond saying

Because my balls are spherical!

(Fiona: SPHERICAL!)

Spherical!

(Spherical)

Spherical!

(Spherical)

Spherical

(Together): SPHERICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!

Alistair didn't realize it but the audience was less than pleased. Most were grimacing so hard their faces hurt, concerned parents had covered their children's ears and some even left. However, Alistair was to busy singing and head banging to notice this.

"Time for the guitar solo folks! Virtuoso! FUCK THAT GUITAR LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO GET IT PREGNANT! Yeah! Play that shit! BILILILILILILILILILILILILILILILILI- OW! Son of a bitch!" Alistair shrieked. A disgruntled audience member found a random tomato and tossed into Alistair's left eye. Other followed his lead and began tossing tomatoes at him too.

"AGH! OOF! AAH! WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE GETTING THESE TOMATOES FROM?! AAAAAAAHHHHH! RETREAT YOU GUYS!" Alistair and his pokemon ran backstage. He wiped the tomato off his face and sighed. This did _not_ go well…


	2. Best Days

Alistair wasn't about to give up his first big break that easily. He pulled back the curtains and went back on stage. He dodged a couple more tomatoes before grabbing the microphone stand. He tried to get the crowd to calm down.

"People, people please! Hold your produce!" Alistair pleaded. "I can understand that last song was um… a little over the top… I- I could do another song if you want-."

"Get off the stage you crazy freak!" One person hollered. Others followed his lead and started chanting "Crazy freak! Crazy freak! Crazy freak!" Over an over again. Alistair fumed with rage. He detested being called a freak. He sent Fiona to fly over the crowd.

"HYPER BEAM!" He shrieked. Fiona sent down a deadly blast from its mouth to the floor. Several people leaped out of its path as it hit the ground. The beam vulcanized through the ground. It left behind a massive smoldering hole in the floor that descended deep under the earth. That immediately shut them up…

"Now that I have your attention… eccentricity doesn't make me Caligula people!" Nearly every person in the room gave him a confused expression. Alistair sighed. "That was a sophisticated and hilarious metaphor about Caligula who was an insane emperor of Rome who is known for his sexual perversion, cruelty, paranoia, mental illness, proclaiming himself as Zeus and naming a horse as a Roman senator. That's the problem with people today. Sophistication is dead and deep thought is ignored. That's why you Philistines will never understand my bohemian ways!"

"There he is! Get him!" A nearby security guard shrieked.

"Oh shit…" Alistair said. He hadn't realized that making a crater in the floor was going to get him into trouble. A team of security guards stormed the stage and beat him into unconsciousness with the night sticks. When Alistair woke up again he was sitting upright in a chair. He was sitting across from the manager of the entire mall and Alistair's boss, Mr. V. Agina. His name always made Alistair chuckle. Cheap laughs are some of the most rewarding (That's what this story's here for)… Mr. Agina was a fat and stocky little man who was balding prematurely. He looked deeply enraged and disappointed at the same time.

"You lied to me Alistair," he said.

"When did I do that sir?" Alistair asked innocently.

"Right around when you told me that you're Jimi Hendrix incarnate and that your pokemon can make guitars explode from the sheer awesomeness being produced from them."

"But we _are_ that awesome!"

"LIAR!" He screamed. Bits of spit were flecked onto Alistair's face.

"Oogy…"

"Not only are you never playing here again, those tomatoes the audience stole and that hole you made are coming out of your earnings for this little shenanigan-."

"Are you serious?!" Alistair complained.

"Yes I'm serious! Now don't interrupt. Like I was saying, this is coming out of your earnings _and _your next thirty pay checks!" Alistair also worked part time at the mall's flower store (to meet girls).

"WHAT!? THIRTY!?"

"Hmm, you don't agree with me Alistair? I could always just fire you and tell your parents what happened here and have _them_ pay for that hole…"

"No! Fine… Take my paychecks…"

"Good," Mr. Agina said. Seeing the forlorn look on Alistair's face he added, "I like you boy but lets face it, you have absolutely no talent as a musician. Maybe a janitor or a botanist, but not a musician."

"Uh… Was that supposed to make me feel better?" Alistair asked.

"Yeah. Do you feel any better now?"

"No. Actually I feel much worse…"

"Oh. Well I'm your boss, not a fucking psychiatrist! I'm not supposed to make your sorry ass happy! Now get out of my mall before I arrest you, ya friggin hippy!" Alistair angrily stormed out of Mr. V. Agina's office. He retrieved his guitar and drum set and when he exited from the building he received a call on his cell phone. He flipped it open and put it to his ear.

"Yo Alice! Did you fail yet?" Alistair's older brother Percy said over the phone.

"It's Alistair! And I didn't _fail _per se… "

"Whatever Alice…" Percy said annoyed. "Mom says to get your pale ass home. It's time for dinner nigga!" He said before hanging up. Percy was allowed to say the N word whenever he wanted because he was black (obviously). Home is like a tiny United Nations for Alistair. His mother is Puerto Rican and his dad is Japanese. His mother couldn't have children for some reason so they adopted Alistair, Percy and their little French sister Katrina. They don't really know what nationality Alistair is (especially with the albinism) so they just believe he's a generic white kid…

"God damn you Percy… Come on out Terra…" Alistair said miserably before releasing his Torterra (Bet you didn't see that coming). He doesn't use Terra in his band because there really isn't anything it could contribute. However, it was the strongest pokemon on his team and it has won plenty of ribbons when Alistair entered it in the Tough division of contests. It greeted him by nuzzling his leg. Alistair patted his head before putting his drums and guitar case next to the tiny 'mountains' on its back. He then climbed on to Terra's back and leaned against the tree on it.

"Let's go home Terra…" Alistair said with a yawn. It was getting late. Terra excitedly began to run as fast as it could (which wasn't very fast considering it's a seven hundred pound tortoise). People and pokemon leaped out of Terra's path.

"Watch where you're going you son of a bitch!" Some pedestrian yelled at Alistair as he and Terra rode past. "There should be laws against riding pokemon on sidewalks!"

"If you can't handle the meat stay out of the street bitch!" Alistair hollered back. His cell phone began ringing again. "What now?" Alistair sighed. He put it back to his ear. "Hello?"

"Dude I was thinking, you know how a chode is a dick that's wider than it is long?" Alistair's best friend Alex asked. Alex is also his band manager. He originally wanted to be in the band and give it names like 'The Al and Al experience' or 'The Titty Twisters' but Alistair kicked him out of the band because he has no musical talent whatsoever.

"Hold on dude. Terra stop!" Terra stopped in place, but the sudden stop bucked Alistair, the guitar and his drums off in the process. His chin painfully collided into the pavement. The guitar landed safely on his back but the drums rolled away into the street. "Ugh…" He moaned.

"Dude? Dude? You there? Whatever. I just wanted to tell you that I was wondering what it would be like if a dick was as wide as it is long. Then it'd be like, a perfect square! Then I was like 'Wow. Not only would you be able to use your penis as an effective flyswatter but it also could be the perfect name for a band! You me and the pokemon, we could rename the band Penis Squared! What do you think dude?" Alistair groggily got back to his feet. He put a hand to his chin. It didn't feel broken but his bottom lip and chin were cascading in blood. Drops of blood kept dripping down onto his shirt.

"Blood on a black shirt… I'm gonna look like a friggin emo…"

"Duuuude! You're not paying attention! Penis Squared, what do you think?"

"First off, why are you thinking about square penises? Second, it's not _you_, me and the pokemon. It's just _me_ and the pokemon. You're just our manager. Third, the name of the band is Zeus on the Guitar Strings and will never ever be Penis Squared! Call me when you're being less gay!"

"Screw you Al! You'll regret it when you're booed off stage and when you're crying your eyes out from the crushing failure I'll come up and be like 'Haha I told you to name the band Penis Squared and/or The Al and Al experience and/or The Titty Twisters! Suck my cock whore!' Then you'll be like 'Sniff… Sniff… You're right Alex… Let me worship you and suck your cock every day from now on'. And I'll be like 'Screw you faggot. I don't let fags suck my ding dong!' And you'll be like 'But you just told me to suck your cock' and I'll be like 'No I didn't' and you're like 'Yes you did' and I'm like 'No I didn't' 'Yes you did' 'No I didn't' 'Yes you-."

"God do you ever shut up Alex? Go masturbate or something…" Alistair said before hanging up on him. He picked his guitar off of the ground and turned around to put it back on Terra's back. However, two random girls about Alistair's age were standing on either side of Terra's head. They had retrieved Al's drums from the street.

"Uh… Thanks random bi- girls…" Alistair mentally kicked himself for almost saying random bitches. He's been hanging around Percy and Alex too long… The girl on Alistair's left scowled at him. She must have realized what he was about to say… "Not the greatest first impression…" Al thought to himself. He couldn't but notice that both of them were extremely pretty. The one glaring at him had straight black hair, blue eyes (making her kind of the opposite of Alistair who has white hair and red eyes due to albinism) and seemed to have a very haughty disposition. Her companion had pink French curls going down to her shoulders and large circular glasses in front of amber eyes. She looked much more pleasant to be around than her friend but also looked kind of timid as well. Both of them were wearing light blue scarves. Scarves were becoming something of a fashion trend lately; people were wearing them even when it wasn't cold out. Even Alistair was wearing a pale white one.

"Um… yeah…" Alistair said taking the drums out of their hands and putting them back next to Terra's mountains. He climbed back onto its back. "Come on Terra lets go back home and get something to eat. I'm fucking starving…" Alistair said ignoring the strangers. Terra grunted merrily and began to walk again.

"Ahem," The haughty looking girl said expectantly. When that didn't get Alistair's attention she did it again "Ahem!" Terra stopped and turned back to her.

"You should get that throat checked," Alistair said thinking she had a cough. She crossed her arms and glared up at him.

"Excuse me. We just stopped your drums from getting run over."

"Yeah and…? What do you want from me? A medal?"

"You barbarian! You're supposed to say thank you when someone does something nice for you!"

"You just called me a barbarian and _you're_ lecturing _me_ about politeness? But I can't say you're wrong though. I'm a barbarian all right. I just love to rape churches and burn women. I think I'll go sacrifice a goat to Thor and make love to my sister now," Alistair said sarcastically. Her friend giggled at Alistair's joke but stopped when she gave her a deep scowl. The black haired one looked like she was about to say something back but thought better of it.

"Humph…," she said. She thrust her nose higher into the air and walked ahead of Alistair and the other girl.

"M-Melissa! Wait up!" The pink haired girl cried out. She ran back to her friend's side.

"Screw them… Come on Terra lets keep going," Alistair said. All three of them seemed to be going in the same direction. Alistair had Terra walk slowly behind them, he didn't want him to flatten them. Along the way, the girl named Melissa kept glancing back at Terra and Alistair.

"Quit following us you pervert!" She shrieked within a few minutes.

"I'm not following you! We just happen to be going in the same direction!"

"Well why are you skulking behind us for huh? Planning to rape us?" Alistair rolled his eyes.

"Spare me. I wouldn't waste the effort (not to mention the boner) on someone like you anyway. If I had it my way I'd have Terra flatten you two so we could get home faster but some people would consider that _wrong._ Oh and don't try to pick fights with me when you know you can't win," Alistair retorted angrily. This girl was seriously beginning to piss him off. She glared furiously up at him.

"Listen here you! I don't have to take this crap from you-."

"Don't fling crap if you don't want crap flung back at you then bitch!"

"THAT DOES IT!" She screamed. She pulled a necklace out from under her shirt. A single pokeball was hanging from it. She pulled the pokeball and tossed it to the ground. An Empoleon appeared next to her. Terra stepped back once, knocking one of the drums off once more. "I've had enough of you! Use Ice Beam!"

"STONE EDGE!" Terra was much faster than Melissa's Empoleon. It stamped the ground and caused the pavement between the two pokemon raise up into elongated stone spikes. Empoleon's Ice Beam crashed into the spikes before they hit Terra.

"Damn he's fast… I never thought he'd use a move like Stone Edge to protect himself either… Great… I picked a fight with a good trainer…" Melissa thought. "Use-."

"STOP!" Melissa's friend shrieked. "Melissa lets just go home, okay?"

"But Annie-." Melissa started. Annie gave her a pleading look. Melissa sighed and returned Empoleon. She glared at Alistair one more time before storming away from him, just like before. Terra stamped its foot down again and the spikes sank back down into the ground, reshaping to return to being flat sidewalk pavement. Annie picked up the drum that fell off and put it back next to Terra's mountains.

"Thanks," Alistair grunted before having Terra continue their trek home. Instead of running ahead to catch up with her friend, she walked beside Terra and Alistair.

"Don't mind her. She's a little short tempered but she's really sweet once you get to know her-."

"I don't plan on getting to know her," Alistair interrupted.

"So… Um, I heard you and your friend talking. Are you really in an all pokemon band?" Alistair was right about her. She was easier to get along with than Melissa.

"Yeah, well, I guess I probably shouldn't say _all_ pokemon band. _I'm_ in it too. I'm the lead singer, my Chatot does background singing and my Ambipom does both the guitar and the drums at the same time."

"I'd love to hear you guys play a song some time-."

"Really?!" Alistair interrupted again hopefully. The fact that someone actually _wants_ to hear him play made him feel elated. "We could play right here on Terra's back! Oh wait… Virtuoso and Fiona are probably tired now…" He said disappointedly.

"Well maybe some other-." Alistair's excitement (and the fact that the front of his shirt was almost entirely covered in blood from his jaw now) was really starting to creep her out. She tried to get ahead of him where Annie was but Alistair grabbed her by the arm.

"WAIT! I can play for you! Please stay. I really need some feedback right now!" He insisted.

"Okay, okay! I'll listen to you just let go of my arm!"

"YAYNESS!" Alistair picked up the guitar and sat back down. "Okay, this isn't one of my own songs but I like it a lot so, yeah I hope you like it too. It's called Best Days by Matt White. Ahem…" Alistair cleared his throat and began playing.

Every time I look at you  
You always look so beautiful  
Driving on the road again the Chevy's packed  
And it is dusk  
And I will take some photographs  
So I can dream of you

Can't say I've felt such twisting  
In my heart this way  
we pitch a tent & have one sleeping bag  
To stay away  
Fires burning, softly singing songs  
So close to you

Do you believe in love at first sight?  
I think you do, we're lying naked under the covers  
Those are the best days of my life

Annie didn't say a word. Alistair believed that his performance left her speechless out of awe. However, he didn't notice that the song caused her to blush immensely (especially because of the naked under the covers part). Terra stopped in its tracks. They had finally reached Alistair's house.

"Well? Am I a god of rock or what?"

"I-um-um- see you later Alistair!" She said hurriedly. She tried to hide her blush but barely could. Alistair didn't notice it though.

"Come on Annie! Leave that loser alone already and come!"

"Coming!"

"She totally thinks I'm an awesome musician now," Alistair gloated as he climbed off of Terra's back. "This day totally sucked but at least I got one fan-." Alistair got interrupted by his phone ringing a third time. "Hello?"

"Yo dude, I just thought of something else. Wouldn't it be awesome if you could play the guitar, now get this, with your mind?! We should totally get a Kadabra or something and have it play like four guitars at once. It'll all be like 'BINININININININININININI DEEEEEEE NEEEEE NEEEE NEEEEEE! NAAAAA NA NAAAA NA NA! RIGGA RAAH RAAAH RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-."

"ALEX! You're a chode and all of your ideas suck! Stop calling me unless you have another gig or something important to say!"

"Dude! This is the most important thing conceived by the human mind ever! You just need to grasp your mind around the concept dude! Now think about… Four guitars… AT ONCE! BILILILILILILILILILI-."

"ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION!" Alistair screamed Alex's worst fear into the phone.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Alex shouted before hanging up. Alistair chuckled to himself.

"Works every time…"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I guess I forgot to explain a few things in the first chapter. Aario, to answer your question, yes I'm still doing Diamond Fists. I just figured the other day that I'd like to start a story with completely original characters this time around. I have no plans of stopping Diamond Fists whatsoever (It's called multitasking people). And I forgot to mention before that I'm trying to stick a song into every chapter of this story and name the chapter after the song that appears in it; not about what actually happens in it like I did before. Sometimes I'll use real songs like I did in this chapter or make one up like in the last chapter. This fanfic is really one big experiment to me.


	3. Middle Finger

——————/´ ¯/)  
—————--/—-/  
—————-/—-/  
———--/´¯/'--'/´¯•  
———-/'/--/—-/—--/¨¯\  
——--('(———- ¯/'--')  
———\————-'—--/  
———-'\'————-•´  
————\———--(  
————-\———--\

lol


	4. Empty Walls

Alistair tried opening the front door to his house but it was locked. He had expected his family to leave it open for him.

"Those assholes… open up!" He banged his fist on the door and rang the door bell several times but no one answered. "Someone let me in! Huh?" Alistair finally noticed that there was a note taped to the door. He pulled it off and tried to read it but it was all in Japanese characters. "When is dad gonna learn that I don't read or speak Japanese…" He turned it over and found more writing. This time it was in English and in his mother's handwriting.

"Yes I told him that you can't read or speak Japanese… We all got tired of waiting for you to get back so we went out to eat. Alex came by and said that you two are going to a party later on anyway so just eat something there."

"P.S We all know you failed so don't bother telling us how your show went."

"I didn't fail! And no one told me that we're going to a party…"

"Correction! We're _playing_ at the party!" A familiar voice answered. Alistair spun around to find his best friend Alex grinning at him. He is a shaggy looking kid whose eyes are always covered by a tangled mess of black hair. But somehow he's still able to see perfectly…

"What? How? When- D-Dude! When the hell did you get behind me?!"

"I'm not even sure dude. I find it easier on the brain to just not question it…"

"Whatever. So what's all this about a party?" He asked pointing at the note.

"Well, it's not a _party_ exactly… It's more like a concert!"

"No way!"

"Way!"

"Sweet! Who's playing?" Alistair asked eagerly.

"We are my pasty faced friend! We're the opening act for Lil' Pimpy and the Whore Quartette! Am I an awesome band manager or what?" Alistair didn't answer immediately. Lil' Pimpy was a midget rapper who doesn't go anywhere without his crew of thugs, crack addicts and hitmen and of course, the Whore Quartette.

"Dude we can't be the opening act for a _rap_ show!" He responded angrily.

"Why not?"

"Because we're a rock band stupid! They're two conflicting genres! The crowd will think Lil' Pimpy's, I don't know, going white or something! The crowd will throw a tantrum because they want rap music, leave and then Pimpy will send his goons to murder us!"

"Oh please. You're thinking way too much. I'm not afraid of Pimpy or his goons either. Plus if the need arises, we could use those rapping skills Percy taught you."

"But Percy says I suck ass at rapping…" Alex shook his head irritably.

"Who cares what Percy thinks? That fag still sleeps in a racecar bed! Anybody who's over eight years old and still sleeps in a racecar bed should get AIDS from a starving Ethiopian woman and then get shot! What does someone like that know about hip hop? That fucking faggot can go eat a dick!"

"Uh Alex… I'm the one who still sleeps in the racecar bed…" Alistair sighed ashamedly.

"Oops… Awkward… Um forget I mentioned it… Come on! We're supposed to be there before anybody else! To the contest hall!" The contest hall was used for all sorts of events like concerts as well as contests. They both climbed back onto Terra's back.

"HI HO TERRA! AWAY!" Alistair shouted. Both Terra and Alex looked confusedly at him. "What? That was a Lone Ranger reference… Uncultured swines… Just go to the contest hall…"

Skip ahead to the concert…

"This is a disaster; this is a disaster, THIS IS A DISASTER!" The stage manager shrieked while holding his head. "Pimpy isn't here, the whores aren't here, even that stupid opening act 'Retards on Guitar Strings' aren't here! The people are going to riot and everyone knows when black people riot, someone gets shot!"

"Uh… other races come to rap shows too y'know," Alistair said whilst tapping the man on the shoulder. He jumped out of shock.

"Don't do that! I'm so jittery right now I could have a stroke!"

"Sorry dude," Alex apologized.

"Fine, fine, whatever. I'm glad that you guys are here. Pimpy hasn't shown up yet so I need you guys to stall for a good twenty minutes."

"No problem," Alistair said.

"Sure thing," Alex said.

"Great. Now there's a place where you guys can set up your equipment and a table full of food over there. I have to go get an aspirin and solace the contest winners…" Alex and Alistair stopped listening after he mentioned food and went over to the table he mentioned to start stuffing their faces. "Ugh… why do I even bother…?"

Meanwhile…

"God I hate waiting in lines. I just don't get it, we've won those stupid backstage passes and yet we don't to get in first. This is injustice!" Melissa complained irritably. Annie didn't respond and seemed to be deep in thought about something. "Oh my god are you _still_ thinking about that Alistair guy?!"

"What? N- No!"

"Annie just admit that you like him and I'll drop it."

"But I don't like him! He's manic, rude and I barely know him! Why would I like someone like him?"

"If you hate him so much (as you should) then why are you being so defensive about it?"

"I'M NOT BEING DEFENSIVE!" Melissa smirked and turned away from her.

"Do you believe in love at first sight? I think you do. We're lying naked under the covers. Those are the best days of my-." She sang just to piss Annie off.

"STOP IT!" Just then, the stage manager came out with a megaphone.

"Will the winners of the backstage passes and the honor to meet Pimpy please come over here?" He instructed.

"That's us Annie! Come on! Move it bitches! Important people coming through!" Melissa shrieked as she and Annie pushed their way through the crowd. "Where's Pimpy you urchin?" She asked the frail little stage manager.

"He's not here yet but-."

"UNACCEPTABLE!" She screamed. Everyone in the immediate area cringed. "The only reason I came here was to meet Pimpy! Get him here now!"

"We're doing the best my dear! You can meet the band opening for Pimpy if you'd like. They're called Zeus on the Guitar Strings or something like that…" Both girls gasped and gave the other a shocked look. "I can tell you're excited already. Come follow me…" He grabbed them both by the wrists and dragged them backstage where Alistair, Fiona and Virtuoso were all having panic attacks while Alex and his Quagsire continued eating.

"FUCK! HOW COULD WE FORGET TO BRING ANY MUSIC SHEETS!?" Alistair shrieked. He and his pokemon were so frantic that they all started running in circles and holding their heads out of panic. He didn't seem to notice that the girls that he met only a few hours ago had entered the room. "WE'RE FUCKING IDIOTS!"

"I for one find it ironic that we're a band and yet we don't memorize our own music," Alex retorted nonchalantly.

"I guess we're going to have to play something not from us… Quick, what do you know by heart?"

"Tons. Dani California, Pretender, Stairway to Heaven, Black Parade-."

"Great! But do you know how to _play_ any of them?"

"Hell no. I know all the words though."

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!" Alistair shrieked.

"I can't believe they got a talent-less guy like him to play here…" Melissa said. "I should find a way to get back at him…" She thought to herself. Annie stayed quiet and leaned against the nearest wall. "What? Scared to talk to your boyfriend?"

"Would you please stop with that?"

"Nope."

"Okay, okay, okay… Calm down Al…" Alistair said. He took a couple of deep breaths. "Okay… Wait… I think I know one song we can play Alex!"

"Cool. What is it?"

"Empty Walls by Serj Tankian."

"Serj Tankian?" Alex said back disbelievingly. "I don't know dude… He sounds like a terrorist to me…" Ever since 9/11 Alex has been very distrustful of anybody from or has ever been in the Middle East. Because of that he even distrusts the pope…

"Who gives a damn if he's from the Middle East!? He made a kick ass song! Virtuoso play it for me. Me and Fiona will sing it."

Your empty walls...  
Your empty walls...  
Pretentious attention  
Dismissive apprehension  
Don't waste your time, on coffins today  
When we decline, from the confines of our mind  
Don't waste your time, on coffins today

Don't you see their bodies burning?  
Desolate and full of yearning  
Dying of anticipation  
Choking from intoxication

Don't you see their bodies burning?  
Desolate and full of yearning  
Dying of anticipation  
Choking from intoxication

I want you  
To be  
Left behind those empty walls  
Don't  
You see  
From behind those empty walls

Those empty walls  
When we decline, from the confines of our mind  
Don't waste your time, on coffins today

Don't you see their bodies burning?  
Desolate and full of yearning  
Dying of anticipation  
Choking from intoxication

Don't you see their bodies burning?  
Desolate and full of yearning  
Dying of anticipation  
Choking from intoxication

I want you  
To be  
Left behind those empty walls  
Don't  
You see  
From behind those empty walls  
Want you to be  
Left behind those empty walls  
Don't  
You see  
From behind those empty walls

"… Then it mostly repeats the last three verses. What do you think dude?"

"It could work… but we're gonna have to stall for Pimpy remember? We're gonna need more then that."

"Damn you're right. Come on, there's got to be a computer around here. We'll get a song off the internet!"

"To the Internet!" Both Als, Quagsire, Fiona and Virtuoso ran off to find a computer. When they were all gone Melissa and Annie got out of their hiding spots. Melissa mad sure that the coast was clear before releasing her Dusclops.

"What are you doing?" Annie asked.

"It's time to get back at Alistair for being rude to me before! I'm gonna have Dusclops suck their instruments in with it's black hole."

"What!? You can't do that! They'll never get them back!"

"Uh… That's the point Annie." Annie gave her a look of deep disgust. "What? If you _really_ don't like Alistair then you'll let me get rid of his instruments."

"…Fine. Do what you want…"

"Good. Dusclops! Do your worst!" Dusclops' eye turned completely black. Alistair's drums and guitar got sucked into Dusclops' eye, never to return. "Good boy!" Annie pulled back the curtains and tried to leave but Melissa grabbed her by the arm. "Where are you going?"

"Away from you! I've helped you out with a lot of mean things before but this is the worst!" Annie shook her off and departed.

"Annie! Wait up!" Melissa called after her friend. She returned Dusclops and tore after Annie. Alistair, Alex and the pokemon came back into the room right after she left. They all looked around but they're instruments had all gone missing.

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY INSTRUMENTS!?"


End file.
